myBlahs…

Tienes un problema con tu forma de mirar
Que pretende hipnotizarme y no dejarme pensar
No siento nada nena, solo te quiero olvidar
Tengo en el bolsillo un manual del corazon
Por si me cruzo contigo y evitar la tentación
No siento nada nena, me aprendí bien la lección
No pretendo ilusionarme y darle oportunidad
A este corazon idiota que nunca supiste amar
Te devuelvo una mañana de sexo en el jardín
Y un tatuaje que decía te quiero
Te de vuelvo todo el tiempo que junto a ti perdi
Inventando que me quieras de nuevo
Te devuelvo las canciones que junto a ti escribi
Y el collar que le pusiste a mi perro
Te devuelvo cada noche que nunca me dormi
Intentando conciliarme en tus sueños
Pero nunca mas te vi….
Tienes un problema en tu forma de mirar
Que pretende convercerme para volver a empezar
Todas tus fotos nena las corté por la mitad
No pretendo ilusionarme y darle oportunidad
A este corazon idiota que nunca supiste amar…
Te devuelvo una mañana de sexo en el jardín
Y un tatuaje que decía te quiero
Te devuelvo todo el tiempo que junto a ti perdi
Inventando que me quieras de nuevo
Te devuelvo las canciones que junto a ti escribi
Y el collar que le pusiste a mi perro
Te devuelvo cada noche que nunca me dormi
Intentando conciliarme en tus sueños
Pero nunca mas te vi….

It’s start with one thing, i don’t know why.. it doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, the design is right to explain a few times.. all i know.. time is a valuable thing.. watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.. watch the count down till the end of the day, the clock ticks life away.. it’s so unreal.. didn’t look down below, watch the time go right out the window, tried to hold on it didn’t even know i wasted it all just to watch you go.. i kept everything inside and even though i tried it all fell apart.. what was meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time.. I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter.. I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn’t even matter! One thing i don’t know why.. it doesn’t even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind, the design is right to remind myself how hard i tried so hard. Despite of the way you were mocking me, i acted like i was part of your property. Remembering all the times you ‘ve fought with me, I’m surprised they got so far. Things aren’t the way they were before. You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore. Not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end.. You kept everything inside and even though i tried, it all fell apart. What was meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn’t even matter. I’ve put my trust in you. Pushed as far as i can go. For all this, there’s only one thing you should know.. I’ve put my trust in you! Pushed as far as i can go! For all this there’s only one thing you should know! I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn’t even matter….

Milk and toast and honey make it sunny on a rainy Saturday
Milk and toast, some coffee take the stuffiness out of days you hate, you really hate
Slow morning news pass me by
I try not to analyze but didn’t it blow my mind this time
Didn’t it blow my mind?

Milk and toast and honey
Ain’t it funny how things sometimes look so clear and feel so near
The dreams I dream, my favourite wishful thinkin’
Oh, it’s bookmarked everywhere, everywhere
True love might fall from the sky
You never know what to find but didn’t it blow my mind this time
Didn’t it blow my mind?

Lay a little lovin’, honey
To take away the pain inside
Its everything that matters to me
Its everything I want from life

Coz everything that matters to me
Is everywhere I wanna be

I’m stuck in my bed today.. sick.. sick in the head..hehe.. so this is what it feels like..i have to learn to take it slow sometimes.. it’s been awhile since i’ve stopped..this is the first time i’ve spent more than 30 minutes awake in my apartment.. i have so many take out food in my refrigerator to throw out.. geeesshh, how long has that lasagna been in there??.. i still have clothes in bags from last weekend.. so this is nice.. i’ll be doing stuff at home, things i’ve been putting off..this isn’t so bad.. missing work today..in bed with my computer.. tissues on the floor..dozing off.. waking up.. nothing good on tv though.. i can hear my night stand clock in the silence.. only 1 pm! i’m bored!!! fuck it.. i’m going out!!

I’ve been high I’ve been low
I’ve been fast I’ve been slow
I’ve had nowhere to go
Missed the bus missed the show
I’ve been down on my luck
I’ve felt like giving up
My life locked in a trunk
When it hurt way too much
I needed a reason to live
Some love inside me to give
I couldn’t rest I had to keep on searching.

I’ve been too sad to speak and too tired to eat
Been too lonely to sing the devil cut off my wings
I’ve been hurt by my past but I feel the future
In my dreams and it lasts I wake up I’m not sure
I wanted to find the light something just didn’t feel right
I needed an answer to end all my searching.

I look in the mirror the picture’s getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earth
I stopped going to church
See God in the trees makes me fall to my knees
My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling
My heart so rigid I keep it in the frigid
It hurts so bad that I can’t dry my eyes
cause’ they keep on refilling
with the tears that i cry

I looked for you under the stones and did not find you
In the cold morning and in the night I looked for you
Up to going mad
But you came to my life as a light
Curing the wounds of my heart
Making me feel alive again.

"Te busque debajo de las piedras y no te encontre
En la mañana fria y en la noche te-busque
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tu llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciendo-me sentir vivo otra vez"

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference…

My love for life right now is … i can’t even find a word to describe it… phenomenal?… yeah.. Whatever it is, it’s surreal. I’ve met lots of awesome people and made some fast friends, kept the ones that matter. My life is my own now. The way it should always have been, the way I have almost lost, living inside a box of misguided ideals and standards, mixed emotions and inner turmoil. Everything really does happen for a reason. Nobody should have to settle for anything. Take risks but don’t ever take anything or anyone for granted. Then you’ll regret nothing. Live for the moment. Love with a passion. And if you ever have to look back, look back with a smile. I’ve come a long way. Look forward and always have tentative plans. What the future holds for me now is not the question we should all be so obsessed about, coz who the hell knows? I’m looking forward to seeing my bestfriend tomorrow, to a friday dinner date, to another girls night out this saturday and the summer in greece. My life is my own, my strength undeniable. I’ve stepped out of the box.

A slice of flan.. one candle and a cherry.. Here’s to good stories.. and bad ones.. highs and lows.. car crashes.. alligators.. lessons learned.. unexpected turn of events.. places to be and plans to take.. achievements and screw-ups.. great family.. best friends and new friends.. crushes and giddy romances.. good beer and a good laugh.. interesting days and perfect nights.. to fate and faith.. to the time of my life and to a whole new year of adventure!

*Work like you don’t need the money..

*Dance like nobody’s watching..

*Sing like nobody’s listening..

*Love like you’ve never been hurt..

*Live like it’s Heaven on Earth..

Whoever said to count one to ten when your temper is tested, obviously hasn’t been infuriated enough! I don’t know how many timesi have tried it expecting wonders but only infuriating myself more in the process! It is however good to have the assurance of knowing my counting abilities are still intact during bouts of impossibly incensed ire! Pacing doesn’t work either, not for me anyway! So to let off some steam today, I allowed myself the pleasure of mentally decapitating some jerk! Clean and Simple! It doesn’t really eliminate the rage (or the jerk, for that matter..) but it does, however, bring out a smile! This entry will self destruct in 10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1..